The Days Are Long | Motherhood Before Noon

It's a Monday. Do you know how I know this to be true?

Kinley woke up at 3am for the first time in weeks (or maybe months, it's all a blur of sleep deprivation and pure happiness). She fell back asleep just in time for Mason to come sneaking up next to the bed to stare at me. This has become a regular occurrence, and will quite possibly be the cause of my first heart attack at a young-ish age. I say -ish, because I had the rude realization a few months ago that I might now fall into the category of being a "middle aged woman". At best I have a year until this statement is actually true.

Anyway, my day began with my child pretending to be a character from Children of the Corn. Like every good mom, I bribed him into bed with me by letting him use my Ipad. If listening to "Daddy Finger" 5,123 times on youtube gives me an extra 30 minutes of not adulting, I will stoop to that level. The second he finds Caillou I'm up and moving. That kid's (Caillou's, not Mason's) voice is almost worse than an alarm clock.

I continued my streak of well rounded mothering by trying to convince him a granola bar was what he wanted for breakfast, not a fresh apple. After I stopped and listened to myself, we went with the apple. Did my three year old just make a better life choice than me?

I was feeling extra ambitious and decided to check out a local program for toddlers. It was free and seemed like as good of a day as any to introduce Mason to the pee tree dish of germs that is preschool. I was pleasantly surprised that he made it the whole time without incident. Well, any major incidents. During circle time he just sat and looked at everyone singing and clapping like he was embarrassed for them. We rounded off this experience with a snack of dry Cheerios, which he said repeatedly were "SO SO YUMMY. My belly loves this." Child, we have had a family size box of flipping Cheerios in our pantry for the last year that you refused to eat because "they are icky." It must be that extra sprinkle of shared germs that makes them so delicious. On his way out he hugged his friend (no, he didn't make a friend, it was one we came with), and with a big giant grin, grabbed a fist of dry cereal. Before she realized what happened he was hopping away like an angel child while I face palmed myself.

It was almost noon. Not too bad for a Monday. My tea was even still hot as I sipped it.

*Strange splashing noise*

"MOMMY THE TOILET JUST TRIED TO EAT ME."